You might be a Pastor if---

(this is from an e-mail someone shared with me. I'm not that clever!)

~ You hesitate to tell people what you do for a living.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.

~ You've ever wondered why people couldn't die at more appropriate times.

~ You find yourself counting people at a sporting event.

~ You're leading the church into the 21st century, but you don't know what you're preaching on Sunday.

~ A church picnic is no picnic.

~ You jiggle all the commode handles at the church before you leave.

~ You've ever spoken for free and were worth every penny of it.

~ People sleep while you're talking.

~ Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."

~ You've ever been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.

~ You read sermons to your kids at night instead of bedtime stories.

~ You'd rather talk to people with every head bowed and every eye closed.

~ You've ever wanted to "lay hands" around a deacon's neck.

~ You often feel like you're herding cats rather than shepherding sheep.

~ Your greatest joys have been in the church.