The Day I married my Friend

This past Saturday marked the 22nd Anniversary of my marriage to Deb and consequently, her marriage to me! It is truly difficult to believe that 22 years have passed by and although I could still wear that Tux, (if I buckled the pants at my knees and didn't mind belly hair showing) we are still the kids in that picture.

I can't give a lot of advice on making money, growing hair or being good looking. (it's just a naturally occuring thing for me! :) ) But I do know a thing or two about having a successful marriage.

The first is a simple step. Make Christ the head of your Home. If you are the Male in the relationship and you get caught up in some archaic, macho-driven, "I'm the Boss" mentality, somewhere along the line you will have a "Strike" launched against you and that will be a picket line you do not want to cross. I know my place and I am the spiritual head of my home but even in that area, I put Christ first. Debbie and I pledged to each other, more than 22 years ago, that Christ would be the Head of our home and that we would pledge to draw closer to Him individually and in doing so, He would draw us together. So far, so good!

The next step is in never forgetting that you married your Friend, at least hopefully? I believe a lot of marriages suffer because somewhere along the way, the Friendship that drew you together has died. It is easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and all of the demands it naturally brings but don't ever forget to work on those friendships. They are VITAL to marriage.

Another bit of advice would simply be this. Don't ever lose sight of what it means to cherish. Debbie and I are always extremely busy. This past week I worked somewhere in the vicinity of 75 hours on my part time job. Deb works 4 and 5 days a week at times. We generally drive a minimum of 200 miles per week just in doing Church work. We are in a constant state of movement and usually snicker at our "days off." But in all of that busyness, we steal moments. It may be wink or a nod, more times than not a REAL hug and Kiss. (pecks on the cheek do not count!) Moments that say, "hey, I haven't forgotten you!" When Debbie walks into a room, she still gets my attention! Why? Because for 22 years we have worked on what it means to "cherish" each other. As unromantic as it may sound, it is a discipline that is vital to a successful relationship and the rewards of it are well worth it.

The words on the Wedding Album state, "This day I will Marry my Friend." Although the words have faded with time, the truth is as strong as ever.

Happy Anniversary, Baby!