TWO LOVES OF MY LIFE

Yesterday, February 12th, was Sam's 10th Birthday! It's really hard to believe he is that age, when I have not aged one bit!

As we celebrated, (and he was more hyped over this one than any other) my mind went back to the excitement of ten years ago. As many of you know, Debbie and I had tried to have children for more than 10 years, prior to Sam's birth. After many tears, heart break, and quite a bit of money spent, we had determined that we would give up our pursuit of parenthood and simply enjoy each others company for the rest of our lives. I believe our idea back then was to live as retired couples do, only much earlier!

During that time, I was very angry with God. Every time I would see a News report of a baby left in a trash bin, or of a young child abused, my anger would rekindle. Even after deciding to give it up, I struggled with this inner anger. Some feel that it is Sin to be angry with God. Looking back, I disagree. Was God wrong? No, but I sure had a difficult time understanding. You see, even though I was experienced anger towards God, I never gave up my Faith and belief in Him. I will readily admit that there were many times that I was tempted to but I had this inner belief that He would still give us the desire of our hearts and although I was weakened, wounded and bitter, I refused to let go of His hand.

It was Christmas of 1997 that I had pretty much worked my way through my anger and resolved to live my life to the fullest, with God in control. Around the first week of January in 98, my Mom called. A great friend of the family had a Sister that was pregnant, and she was not going to be able to keep the Baby. The young Lady had already made tenative arrangements with an Adoption agency when our Friend thought of us, called my Mom and asked if we would be interested. Although we had not pursued Adoption, we immediately said YES! Apprehensive and scared to death would be the best description of me during those days.

By Mid-January we recieved word thay the young Lady, had chosen us to be the Parents and on the 12th of February, Samuel Evans Holt was born. That's right, we had one month to prepare for what most people know as a nine month experience! Some think that God does not have a sense of humor, I know they are wrong!

It's been ten wonderful years and my 3 pound, 5 ounce baby boy is now a gangly, nearly 70 pound young man. The Young Lady who God used to bring this promise into our lives is a Hero, forever, in our hearts. And I look back on those days of anger and bitterness and now realize that a deep and abiding Faith in a God that will not fail, was formed through those times. That is really and truly the only way I can explain it.

Debbie is a wonderful Mom! She woke Sam up yesterday, with a Shower of Silly String! (and she says SHE has two kids) She and Sam are the loves of my life and life itself, is a beautiful thing.

Happy Birthday, Sam! Dad loves you!