Hello Again
Yes, as I have been repeatedly informed by e-mail, it has been awhile since I have blogged. Sorry about that but I've been through a time of introspection and just haven't had much to say. I've gone through the loss of my last remaining Grandparent and the resignation of a nine year pastorate, culminating with the beginning of a new pastoral assignment in relative cyber silence. Throw in the diagnosis of a grade 3 herniation of the L5 disc in the lower back and it appears that I've had a lot, not to write about.
Actually, it was the ongoing process of the recovery of the back injury that spurred my desire to write again. The injury is not serious enough at this point to warrant surgery and I have been assured that with therapy and common sense, I will be fine. (yes, I am probably in trouble)
This week, the Doc ordered a deep tissue massage. I thought to myself, "cool!" What I didn't realize is that a theraputic deep tissue massage is actually a painful thing but I now know otherwise! The theory behind it is that to the degree that you are injured, the body, in its amazing God designed complexity, begins to do things to compensate for the injury. In my case the Back muscles tightened around the injured area to prevent further injury. Part of the healing process required the breaking down of the natural defenses of the body and Brother, did that breakdown hurt. I was nearly to the point of tears by the end of that massage and not to thrilled with the Therapist! But it was on the drive home that a release came that caused me to realize how hurt I had been and how long it had been going on. I felt soooooo much better! (until the next day when I was soooooo sore)
The entire episode put me in mind of our natural tendency to build up walls of defense when we have been hurt. We come to a point of "injury" and determined to not let it happen again, we build up those defensive walls determined to keep people out. After awhile, we function again as if nothing ever happened but down deep we are hurt. Because of the "hurt" our relationships suffer because the walls we have built to "protect" us actually keep people out that care about us. The healing we need, like my Back, needs a breakdown of the defenses and the reason many people never "get there" is because that breakdown can be a painful but necessary thing.
God never intended for us to walk around with walls meant to keep People out. Yes, unfortunately, there are People who abuse that kind of vulnerability. It's a sad but true thing. The trouble is that in building those walls that we think protect us, we actually can alienate those in our lives that can help and heal. It reminds me of those little one caption, "Love is" cartoons that were so popular several years ago. "Love is being vulnerable, trusting the ones we bestow it on to not abuse it and learning to forgive them when they do."
It's good to be back! Hope you enjoyed or at least endured.
Actually, it was the ongoing process of the recovery of the back injury that spurred my desire to write again. The injury is not serious enough at this point to warrant surgery and I have been assured that with therapy and common sense, I will be fine. (yes, I am probably in trouble)
This week, the Doc ordered a deep tissue massage. I thought to myself, "cool!" What I didn't realize is that a theraputic deep tissue massage is actually a painful thing but I now know otherwise! The theory behind it is that to the degree that you are injured, the body, in its amazing God designed complexity, begins to do things to compensate for the injury. In my case the Back muscles tightened around the injured area to prevent further injury. Part of the healing process required the breaking down of the natural defenses of the body and Brother, did that breakdown hurt. I was nearly to the point of tears by the end of that massage and not to thrilled with the Therapist! But it was on the drive home that a release came that caused me to realize how hurt I had been and how long it had been going on. I felt soooooo much better! (until the next day when I was soooooo sore)
The entire episode put me in mind of our natural tendency to build up walls of defense when we have been hurt. We come to a point of "injury" and determined to not let it happen again, we build up those defensive walls determined to keep people out. After awhile, we function again as if nothing ever happened but down deep we are hurt. Because of the "hurt" our relationships suffer because the walls we have built to "protect" us actually keep people out that care about us. The healing we need, like my Back, needs a breakdown of the defenses and the reason many people never "get there" is because that breakdown can be a painful but necessary thing.
God never intended for us to walk around with walls meant to keep People out. Yes, unfortunately, there are People who abuse that kind of vulnerability. It's a sad but true thing. The trouble is that in building those walls that we think protect us, we actually can alienate those in our lives that can help and heal. It reminds me of those little one caption, "Love is" cartoons that were so popular several years ago. "Love is being vulnerable, trusting the ones we bestow it on to not abuse it and learning to forgive them when they do."
It's good to be back! Hope you enjoyed or at least endured.
posted by Ken at
Friday, October 08, 2010
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