This "Dad" thing

I've been a Dad for more than 9 years now and it just dawned on me this past weekend, that I'm just now getting to the tough part!!!

I went to Sam's little league game on Saturday and I wasn't sure that I would survive! It was really funny too because it was a totally different side of "pressure" for me. I played in Softball leagues for many years and I loved the pressure side of it. I wanted to be "at bat" when the game was on the line. In the field I wanted the ball hit to me, especially when it counted most. Sometimes I was succesful and sometimes I would blow it but the point is that I welcomed pressure filled situations. Saturday, I found out that I didn't like them too much as a Dad!

Sam hasn't quite embraced my love for baseball in the manner that I have. I have never made him play but we have maintained one rule concerning sports and that is: "you can try whatever you think you might like but no matter what, once you start you will finish the Season." I do that for two reasons. One is, the emphasis on being part of a Team and two is, Quitting never gets you anywhere in life. So this year has been an interesting one to say the least. Sam hasn't wanted to quit but he is looking forward to the end of the Season! LOL

I'm not one of those "live your dream through your child" little league Dads. While I want him to succeed, I have always emphasized doing your best and walking off the field with your head held high for doing so no matter the outcome. I've only had words with his Coach once and that had nothing to do with the game itself but his langauge during it.

Anyway, on Saturday, Sam's team was facing a team with an identical record with both teams vying for a playoff spot. Definitely the most pressure they have faced this year! The first two innings, Sam's team got it handed to them pretty good but by the third inning the comeback was on. By the final inning, (Sam's team being the home team) they were down three runs, the bases were loaded, there were two outs and yep, you guessed it, it was Sam's at bat. I have played in Tournament games where I never experienced what I experienced Saturday! I was nervous almost to the point of being sick. This is how the rest played out: (italicized words are my thoughts)

1st pitch, Ball one. "hey, maybe he will get a walk!"

2nd pitch, Ball two. "Alright, walk one in and let someone else have this!"

3rd pitch, Strike one. "That's OK, just need two more balls"

4th pitch, Sam swung and made contact. "Alright! He hit it good! But it's going foul."

I would like to finish with a 5th pitch that he hit over the fence to win the game but the fact is that on the 5th pitch, Sam went down swinging. Game over.

After his team briefly met, I walked over to him and he looked up disappointed and said, "Dad, I lost the game." I wrapped my arm around him as we walked and said, "No, you didn't lose the game, your team lost the game and I want you to know how proud I am of you because even though you didn't hit the last pitch, you tried!"

I don't know how I would have reacted if he had the game winning hit. I couldn't sit down while watching the at bat, I had to stand and then at times, I didn't want to look but I couldn't stand not looking. I'm certain that I would have been one proud Papa given a different outcome but I don't think I could have been any more proud of the young man that walked off of that field and in that moment, I understood a whole lot more of what being "Dad" is about.